How do your superficial thoughts negatively impact your personal growth?

There comes a moment in everyone’s life when they question what truly makes them happy. Is it the praise people give? Is it the approval that comes from saying “yes” to everything? Or is it something much simpler—something that doesn’t require pretending?

For many of us, real happiness begins the day we choose to be ourselves, even if that means not everyone will cheer for us. It sounds bold, even scary, but it feels like finally exhaling after holding your breath for too long. You realise it is far better to be disliked for being real than admired for being someone you never were. This thought might seem uncomfortable at first, but once it settles, it becomes a powerful guide.

The Trap of Being “Perfect” for Everyone-:

Most people don’t start by trying to be someone they’re not. It usually begins in small moments—an extra favour, an unnecessary apology, or a silent acceptance of something they don’t like. Then slowly, without noticing, they become trapped in an image that others have built for them.

I once observed this happening to a man who lived in my friend’s neighbourhood. Everyone around him held a high opinion of him. They described him as helpful, courageous, and wise. And to be fair, he truly had those qualities. If someone needed guidance, he was the first door they knocked on.

But something unusual happened over time. His desire to always appear kind and capable pushed him into situations where he had to stretch himself beyond limits. He would agree to things he disliked, take responsibility for problems he didn’t cause, and give advice even when he didn’t fully understand the issue. He didn’t do this because he was proud. He did it because he feared letting people down.  And that is usually the first step toward losing oneself.

Q--What makes a person happier when they choose to be disliked for who they truly are?

Because real joy comes when we stop pretending, stop meeting every expectation, and allow ourselves to be seen as we genuinely are. This honesty protects our identity, gives clarity, and builds long-lasting confidence

Admiration Can Turn Into a Burden-;

There are two strange things that can happen when a person receives constant praise.

First, they begin to enjoy it so much that they stop questioning whether the praise is actually deserved.

Second, they fear losing it so deeply that rejecting even the smallest request feels like a personal failure.

This man fell into both traps. He couldn’t say “no,” not even politely. He forgot that delays or gentle refusals can protect not only dignity but also sanity. Deep inside, he must have known that something was going wrong, but when admiration becomes a habit, it is difficult to step out of it.

Slowly, he started drifting away from his true self. People praised the image of him, not the man he actually was. And that difference began to grow wider each passing day.

The Silent Arrival of an Identity Crisis-:

Identity crises don’t appear in one loud moment. They creep in quietly.

One day you realise you are tired.

Another day you feel disconnected.

And then comes the day when you no longer recognise your own choices.

This man reached that point. The admiration he once enjoyed turned into pressure. His thoughts were no longer his own. Worse, he began to notice that the very people who once praised him had stopped showing the same respect. His old kindness was forgotten, replaced by unrealistic expectations and sharp criticism.

When that happens, the heart feels heavy—not because others changed, but because we slowly drifted away from our real selves.

Falling from the Top Isn’t the Problem—Not Accepting It Is-:

There is a simple truth: Anyone who rises high will eventually come down, even if only a little. Life works that way.

But when a person refuses to accept this natural flow, they start breaking inside. They lose peace, they lose clarity, and worst of all, they lose their sense of identity.

True growth requires humility—an understanding that it’s okay not to shine every day. It’s okay to refuse, to step back, to choose your own well-being over someone else’s expectations.

Facing Your Dark Corners Is Better Than Letting Others Point at Them-:

If people criticize you, it hurts. But if you reject yourself, the damage is much deeper. Self-rejection knocks out confidence faster than any insult ever could.

People will always have opinions—positive or negative. But those opinions are powerless until you accept them as truth. The moment you dare to look at your weaknesses with honesty, you stop fearing them. You stop pretending. You learn to grow in a better way .

Conclusion: Choose the Happiness That Comes From Truth-:

Real happiness is quiet. It doesn’t come from loud applause. It comes from waking up every morning and knowing that you do not have to perform or pretend.

When you choose to be yourself—even when it is not popular—you protect your identity, your peace, and your ability to rise again, stronger and clearer.

The world may not always understand you. But the world is not supposed to define you.

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