Why should we keep distance from troublemakers?

Introduction;

Imagine a neighbour, friend, or colleague whose life seems to revolve around conflicts. Furthermore, their behaviour disrupts your day. Their constant complaints, gossip, reproaches, and sometimes unintentional dragging of you into their own doubts and confusions  make you feel tired, lost, or trapped.

You might consider whether you should maintain distance from them instead of feeling compelled to fix them. Yes, Absolutely, — but in a thoughtful, respectful way, not with harshness or guilt. Neither let them live in guilt nor get trapped in guilt yourself, it is far better to remain calm and positive in life

Why it works:

Keep your emotional energy untouched. Every interaction you have with someone who troubles you takes up mental space, especially when you start feeling the burden of their issues.

Try to set a model for healthy boundaries. It shows yourself and others you are not ready to  accept chaos as your default.

This allows you to focus on your goals. Instead of trying to step into someone else's shoes, you invest your time and energy in achieving things that truly matter to you.

How you can do it, in real life:

At work, if a colleague constantly bothers or makes you uneasy, try responding, "I'm still at work; we'll talk when we're focused on the same goal."

With friends, if dinner turns into a gossip-fest and you feel uncomfortable, excuse yourself with “I’ll catch up in a bit” and move to a different conversation space.

With family, if there’s habitual negative talk that makes you anxious, you might gently say: “I care about you, but right now I’m trying to keep my energy positive—I’ll join later.”

: You don’t need to declare war or cut them off entirely. You simply choose when and how you engage. And in doing that you reclaim your own day.

Facing everyday life challenges in a fresh way;

It is observed we usually face a variety of small and medium-sized obstacles in our daily lives, not just the large, dramatic ones. However, the little ones tend to wear us down more gradually. The majority of the advice you've read addresses topics like budgeting, time management, health, etc. Let's tackle this from some fresh perspectives and realistic examples.

1. Track your emotional temperature;

Most of us monitor our physical health (sore throat? tired? hunger?). But how often do we check: What kind of emotional temperature am I running today?  Every evening just ask yourself: “How heavy do I feel on a scale of 1-10?”

If you notice you’re at 8 or 9 (heavy or low), ask: What one tiny shift can I make tomorrow to drop that to 6 or 5? Maybe it’s a 10-minute walk, maybe switching off social media early. If you view your emotional state as a scale that you keep monitoring of, you can identify problems before they become serious.

2. Use the “one-minute glance & one-minute action” method;

Often the barrier is doing the first small step. So: look around you for one thing you can fix in 1 minute, then spend 1 minute doing it.

: Your desk has a mug of old coffee sitting. One-minute glance: “That’s there.” One-minute action: rinse it and clear it. Result: you feel slightly more in control or carefree 

: You’ve been replying to messages you feel obligated to. One-minute glance: “Am I replying because I want to or because I feel forced?” One-minute action: write “I’ll check this later” or Thank you - I will respond shortly." These subtle actions create a sense of doing the right thing without any confusion, or at least being positive.

Q How should  you deal with people who constantly create chaos  or problems in your life?

When people around you continuously create drama or problems—not just in their lives, but in yours too—it's wise to gently draw lines, observe how their behaviour impacts you, politely limit involvement, and redirect your energy towards your own growth. 

3. Interaction from “have to” to “get to”

When you think of daily tasks — whether involving people or chores — your mental framing changes how you feel about them.

In people dynamics: Instead of “I have to attend that meeting with those fake people,” try: “I get to join this meeting and maybe influence a calmer tone.”

in chores: “I get to tidy this area so I’ll feel lighter afterward,” rather than “I have to do this mess again.” A small wording shift, but your brain hears “get to” as opportunity, not burden.

4. Build your “pause space”

When you’re pulled into someone’s trouble-making or when a challenge hits, install a pause space: physical or mental.

At work, a conflict suddenly erupts. You say: "Let's stop and come back in 10 minutes with fresh ideas to discuss." You step outside, take a deep breath, and start feeling better with renewed energy to get organized again.

: When someone at home starts chatting negatively or gossiping, you go into another room, have some water, take two three deep breaths, and then come back. This pause allows you to choose your response (rather than react) and breaks the emotional "automatic mode."

5. Small wins & reflect weekly

Most often, the advice is to "keep an eye on the goals." So, go for it: Focus on small accomplishments each week and think about how they connect to your bigger well-being, or can be added later. You managed to say “no” to something you didn’t want to do. Write it down: “I honoured my time.”

You didn’t join an unnecessary argument. Write: “I preserved my calm .”Each win fixes my behaviour patterns that reduce drama, reduce chaos, and increase your control. At the end of the week, circle back: How did this make me feel? Less upset? More stable?

Why this matters together: trouble-makers & daily challenges

You can build a calmer and more powerful foundation for your life by distancing yourself from those who constantly cause trouble and equipping yourself with new, accessible tools to handle everyday challenges. This doesn't mean isolating yourself or becoming depressed. It means prioritizing your mental peace and making small decisions that can lead to significant changes on the ground.

When someone else's troubles and sufferings begin to creep into your life, you're more likely to become distracted, distressed, or unstable, and your vigilance decreases. And when your daily challenges increase uncontrollably, your energy diminishes, your flexibility weakens, and you become more emotional  to being caught up in the troubles of others. But: When you deliberately set boundaries and adopt small, everyday habits for yourself, you create a base. You create momentum. You create something reliable when everything else is uncertain.

An action plan for this week

Day 1: Take stock. Identify one person whose behaviour regularly leaves you feeling drained and confused. Decide one small boundary you will try this week (e.g., limiting conversation to certain topics or time-slots).

Day 2: Use the emotional temperature check each evening. Note how you feel and what little shift you might try the next morning.

Day 3: Use the one-minute glance & action method at least twice (morning and evening).

Day 4: In a difficult interaction, consciously use the pause space. Breathe, step back, respond intentionally.

Day 5-7: Two or three small solutions. You may have refused to do an unnecessary task, completed a small task, or avoided a tragedy. Think about it and write down your feelings after analysing the whole process.

Conclusion-:

Life doesn’t wait for us to be perfect. The noise of others’ conflict, the steady drip of small daily pressures — they all will touch us. But we can choose how much we let in, and how we respond. You don’t need to cut people out. You don’t need grand transformations overnight. You just need to begin with small, human-scale choices that build up. When you protect your energy from persistent trouble-making around you, and equip yourself with simple habits to face everyday challenges, you reclaim more of your day, your peace, and your focus.

So yes — keep those who generate trouble at a comfortable arm’s length — not out of fear, but out of care for yourself. And yes — face your daily challenges not with heavy burdens, but with light steady steps. Your days will feel more manageable, your mind more rested, your resilience quietly growing.